Space
in a relationship is often a critical issue, many times making or breaking the
partnership. While some people need a good deal of space, others prefer to be
around their partner all the time, and do everything with him or her.
If
you and your partner have similar space requirements, things should go very
smoothly. But if there is a big gap in that department, it can set you up for
many arguments and a good deal of hurt. It's also important to note that space
requirements can change as the relationship evolves.
In
the early stages, it is pretty normal for two people to want to spend a lot of
time together. As the relationship gets more into the long-term, you might like
to have a night out with pals, or join some activity that your partner doesn't
necessarily enjoy.
The
conflict can start to arise when one party decides that he or she would now
like a little more space since you've been together for a while, but the other
party still wants to spend the majority of his or her time with his/her
partner. This can make the latter feel rejected, and insulted, which can
actually make him or her get even more clingy and resentful of the space you
are requesting.
When
it comes to this, it's hard to find a good compromise. As one person becomes
more insistent of having space in a relationship, the other begins to feel
threatened, and possibly thinks that his or her partner has fallen out of love,
or is with someone else, or just prefers to spend time with his or her friends.
As with anything, communication is the key to resolving this kind of issue.
If
you are the person who needs a lot of space, make sure that you also tell your
partner how much you love him/her and how much you like to spend time with him/her.
Tell them that the space has nothing to do with any negative feelings towards
him or her. It's just a part of your personality.
If
you are the person who doesn't particularly want to ever be too far away from
your partner, you can also express this to him or her. But you may also try
going out for a night with friends while your partner is out with his or hers.
Whatever you decide to do, do not sit at home or do nothing when your partner
is out with friends or fishing on his own.
And,
no matter how you feel, you will need to accept the fact that your partner
needs space in order for your relationship to work. If you can't accept it, you
may need to go elsewhere. This goes for the space-seeker as well. If you do not
like the fact that your partner requires too much time of you, then it may be
time to re-evaluate the relationship.
Take
a look at your space in a relationship and where you are at in the space
spectrum.
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